Creeping Death

Don't forget to follow WAYPOINT on Kickstarter. The more folks I have following before launch, the better a position it'll have on Kickstarter's homepage when it goes live. Let's game that algorithm!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/waypointcomic/waypoint-1-4

Passover starts this week, and that’s one of the Jewish holidays that I follow religiously (rimshot). Passover gets me thinking about my favorite Metallica song (see post title), and thinking about Metallica inevitably leads me to one of the most fascinating figures in heavy metal: Megadeth singer/guitarist/mastermind Dave Mustaine. A man who has reached what is arguably the pinnacle of his profession – and will never be happy about it.

For those unfamiliar with the man, a brief history. Mustaine started as Metallica’s second guitarist back in the early 80s. He was insanely talented but got kicked out for having a drinking problem too severe for an act nicknamed Alcoholica. Before the band fired him, Mustaine wrote about half the songs that they used on their debut, Kill ‘Em All, and another pair that appeared on sophomore effort Ride the Lightning. Metallica, of course, went on to become the biggest metal band in the world.

Mustaine, mad that he got ejected from the rocket just as it was launching, formed a competing band, Megadeth. While they never quite reached the heights of Metallica – again, a group that achieved unprecedented popularity for any rock band, much less one that heavy – Megadeth still did pretty damn well. Platinum records, world tours, songs on major movie soundtracks, and arguably a more interesting body of work than Metallica post-1990. Mustaine – after dealing with his addiction – has a family, a beautiful home, adoring fans worldwide, and a tiny horse. He became a Metal God in his own right, on his own terms, with his own work.

It’s still not enough.

Mustaine spent his entire career chasing Metallica. Some of those demons got exorcised during the therapy sessions that were turned into the film Some Kind of Monster. He buried the hatchet with his former bandmates and performed with them at the Big Four concerts (along with Slayer and Anthrax). Megadeth actually put on one of the best sets of the day at the Indio date – they’re always better when opening for a band that Mustaine wants to upstage, which was also the case the time I saw them open for Iron Maiden. Still, it eats at him. He could’ve been in the biggest band in the world if he hadn’t fucked it all up. Although I’m sure he’s not thinking about it every second of every day, it’s always under the surface.

How do I know? Well, Megadeth’s debut had “Mechanix,” a song he wrote for Metallica. Their self-titled final album concludes with a cover of “Ride the Lightning” (which he cowrote). That’s an entire 40-year body of work that began and ended with Mustaine trying to show up his former bandmates.

This is obviously simplifying things, but it sure makes for a convincing narrative from my point of view (one that’s backed up by his own autobiography). Despite all that – and despite Mustaine’s conspiracy theory obsession and insane political beliefs – Megadeth have always been my favorite of the so-called Big Four of thrash metal. His rage translates to his music, and even though he isn’t technically the best singer, he has a way of biting off words that makes his voice utterly unique. He also had some of the most clever, articulate lyrics of that whole scene – again, before he got really into FEMA camps and New World Order stuff.

So what does all that have to do with me? Well, it’s one of the more egregious cases of imposter syndrome in my area of expertise that I can think of. And imposter syndrome is something that I suffer from – as does everybody else in a creative field.

But I can’t speak for anybody else. Just myself.

I went to Wonder Con down in Anaheim this past weekend to connect with other writers and see if anybody had suggestions for how to get WAYPOINT in front of more people. A lot of the creators I spoke with have published work, fan bases, projects that have been optioned by movie studios. I’m obviously not there yet – I haven’t even launched my Kickstarter. But I realized something when I was showing around my book and saw the reactions of the people flipping through it: it’s a damn good comic.

That sounds arrogant! I realize that. But I’ve also spent my entire career – my entire life – telling myself that my work wasn’t up to snuff. That everybody else was better than me. That I wasn’t worthy of sitting at the table with the cool kids. So I’m done putting myself down and comparing myself unfavorably to people with more success. I don’t have a name (yet) that will get my book published by a respected house like Image or Dark Horse. I may never. Hell, the entire window for rockstar comic creators may have passed as the industry has changed. All I know is that I wrote something that I’m proud of, and I’m excited to finally put it out into the world and see what happens.

Comics are my business… and hopefully business will be good.

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